When you are a parent, you face many unique challenges. To make matters even more complex, family units are constantly changing and evolving. The only thing you can do is to stay amenable to change. It?s unusual in today?s environment for most people to stay married to the same partner all of their lives. Because of this state of affairs, there?s a good chance that you will end up in a marriage that includes stepchildren. If you read this article carefully and take the tips here to heart, your path to becoming a successful stepparent will be made easier.
Basically, how old your stepchildren are will determine how you interact with them. Obviously, the younger the child is, the easier it will be. A baby or a toddler will come to regard you as their primary parent and will probably not remember their bio parent. Go online and talk on the forums to other people who have assumed the role of stepparent to prepare yourself for the responsibilities you will be assuming. The older the children, the more likely it is that you?ll be more of a friend than a replacement parent. The prime parenting duties of older children, in particular teen-agers, will remain with the original parent and the new stepparent will be more of support to the original parent. To be sure, each family faced with these same circumstances will have different needs, but the age of the stepchildren will be the deciding factor in how you handle your step-parenting role.
It is an entirely different situation dealing with teenagers opposed to dealing with grade school or preschool children. If this is the case, be ready to be ignored as most teenagers are not willing to accept their own biological parents at this point in time. Although you should not expect acceptance, you should still have some respect and disciplinary actions should still be adhered to. After all, parents aren?t the only authority figures in the lives of children -they also have teachers and others in the community as well. As a step parent, you should try to be supportive of teens as a friend, but also be ready to be firm when it?s necessary to enforce limits. Older kids, however, no matter what you do, will probably never except you as a new parent for any reason.
Your new husband or wife must be your primary focus, regardless of whether or not the step kids ever come around. Your best bet as the new step parent is to play a secondary role, especially until the children have gotten used to you. Over time, of course, it?s likely that you?ll get closer to the children and, depending on how old they are, may even take on the role of parent. Most of the time, it is best to do whatever you can to help your partner in basic decisions related to family matters. Remember that it?s not just you, but also your step children and your new partner who also have to adjust to the new situation.
In conclusion, it?s never easy to start a new family, especially when children are involved. In today?s world, 50% of those who marry eventually get a divorce. Also, many people wait to marry until they are older and, as a consequence, may marry someone who already has children. Whatever the circumstances, many more marriages today begin with one or the other of the new spouses ? sometimes both ? having children from a previous relationship. Two of the biggest skills you can develop in order to make your new marriage a success and learn how best to fill your role as step-parent is flexibility and, of course, patience. These will stand you in good stead while you are discovering what part you will play in the lives of your stepchildren.
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Tagged with: bring up child ? Family ? family unit ? parent ? parenting ? step child?
Source: http://www.sociedadecuatorianadeflebologia.com/helpful-pointers-for-the-new-family-with-step-kids/
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